Insights sometimes come slowly, especially insights into oneself. I was in the ministry for years before it dawned on me how different my Mother’s day sermons were from my Father’s day sermons. Mother’s day found me lauding Motherhood while Father’s day was a time to call Father’s to responsible living. Let them leave guilt ridden for not being the kind of Father’s they ought to be. I once preached on Father’s day a sermon titled, Father’s Who Fumbled the Ball I talked about numerous Father’s in the Bible who blew it as Father’s. A great guilt inducing sermon. But on the day it dawned on me how differently I treated Father’s day from Mother’s day, it also dawned on me that I would never preach a sermon on Mother’s day titled, Mother’s Who Fumbled the Ball. That would feel terribly inappropriate. I also became aware that the guilt inducing sermons on Father’s day came out of my own stuff, my own sense of failure. Guilt I felt for not being all I should have been as Father. On this Father’s day I think of my Dad, who long ago departed this world. I am aware that he like me was not trained to be a parent. Yet he always sought to be there for me best he could. Of course there were those time he failed me, times he was arbitrary, rigid, unbending, just like there were those same times for me latter with my children. Yet for all of that, what a beautiful man he was. What a gift to have had him for my Dad. I miss him, am grateful to have been his son and on this day pay tribute to my dear deceased Dad whom I loved and love dearly. He was a good Father. What does it take to be a good Father, not a perfect Father, but a good Father? On this Father’s Day I want to suggest six characteristics, observable in the Parable of the Prodigal Son, (which I think could well be called the Parable of the Good Father), that will mark a good Father. The first is this:

A GOOD FATHER SETS HIS CHILDREN FREE. Verse 12 "So he divided his property between them." The Father sets’ his son free. Sets him free to do whatever he need to do, free to blow his life in the far country. Verse 13 "a few days later the younger son gathered all he had and traveled to a distant country, and there he squandered his property in dissolute living." In this parable God is the Father who sets us free. Free to do whatever we need to do including blowing our own lives. Apparently God prefers free sinners to enslaved saints.

God puts a tremendous premium on freedom. If you and I are going to follow him, we must do so out of choice not compulsion. The door is always open to leave or to enter, but leaving or entering I do so freely.

Dad’s, can you set your children free? Sooner or later if we are to be good Fathers and have healthy children we must do that.

Set them free to be what they must be and do what they must do even if that is in violation of all we believe and stand for. Even if in the words of the text our children, "squander their property in dissolute living." If we can’t set them free to make their own mistakes they will never be healthy, for it is in the freedom to fail that they learn lessons in life they will never learn in the shelter of the Father’s house.

A GOOD FATHER MODELS RESPONSIBLE LIVING FOR HIS CHILDREN. Verse 17 "How many of my Father’s hired hands have bread enough and to spare…" The Father in this story is a responsible man. He provides well for those who come under his care, even his hired hands. The Prodigal in the far country remembered that.

I think of my Father. I never remember him missing a day of work. Snow, rain, sleet, sunny days or cloudy, at 6:00a.m. the alarm went off and Dad’s day began. He never made a big production of it, he just did it. Whether he felt like it or not he worked bringing home his paycheck so the family might be clothed and fed. We didn’t have to worry about the basic need of survival. Now in looking back I suspect my Father was a workaholic. It is true that all work and no play will make Jack a dull boy. Yet the work habits of my Dad were formed me as he sought to simply be responsible and provide for his family. He was a good model. So to us come choices. We can choose to be grateful for what our Dad’s have done for us , or we can be critical for the times Dad is working and thus not there for us. On this Father’s Day I choose to go the way of gratitude, thanking God for my Dad who in his finely honed sense of responsibility hung in there, doing whatever it took to provide the basics of life. His sense of responsibility gave me my sense of responsibility. That is the way it works.

A GOOD FATHER CONVEYS THE MESSAGE TO HIS CHILDREN THAT THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY BACK. Verse 18 "I will get up and go to my Father’s house." The prodigal knew down deep in his heart that his Father’s door would be open to him. He didn’t say, "I want to go home, but I know after what I have done I won’t be welcomed."

For the prodigal there was a way back. Good Father’s let their children know that there is always a way out. Sometimes the way out is not the Father saying, "come home." It may be the Father saying, "stay out and hang tough. Just know that I am with you in your staying out and hanging tough. What is never up for debate is my love for you." The good Father always offers hope to his children, not an easy out, a soft love. Sometimes it is a tough love, but always it is filled with hope, the message that there is a way back.

THE GOOD FATHER IS CLEAR ABOUT HOW MUCH HE LOVES HIS CHILDREN. Verse 20 "But while he was still far off, his Father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him."

What love the Father shows for his son. See him scanning the horizon hourly, and then finally see him on that day spotting a lonely figure. Could it be, is it my son coming home? This is no time for, for restraint. He embraces and kisses him. Before his son can ask for forgiveness, he is putting new clothes on his boy, a robe on his back and shoes on his feet. Compassion, unmasked love, unconditional love. Good Fathers have that for their children. I remember how special it was to go home. How excited I would get when finally I turned of at Norwalk only eighteen miles from Wellington. Counting the miles, knowing there awaited for me love and compassion as I would be welcomed home.

The day my brother was twelve was a cold February 7^th and a blanket hung over the entrance to the living room. Dad tried not to heat the living room to save on fuel. But on that day he threw back the blanket and there in the unheated living room sat not one but three bicycles.

Dad had gotten a good buy on the bikes and so Esther and I received our birthday gifts six months early. Our Dad took care of us in so many special ways.

A GOOD FATHER SETS LIMITS ON HIS CHILDREN Verse 31 "—all that is mine is yours." These are the words of the Father to his eldest son, the boy who stayed home, but now won’t join the party. In the context of these words are seen clear limits. The message is this. "Although we welcome home your brother, his inheritance has been spent. It is gone and all that I have is yours, not his."

There is always a price to be paid for living in the far county. The consequences of the prodigal’s actions are clear. He is home, but he is penniless, and nothing will change that. I think the prodigal left home in the first place because of limits. That is why a lot of us leave home. We chaff under the limits set by our parents. We want to be free to go and come as we please. For children to be healthy they need limits. They will resist them but they need them and often in strange ways they will even ask for them. Limits provide security, safety, boundaries which though chaffed against keep our children from self destructing.

A GOOD FATHER CELEBRATES LIFE WITH HIS CHILDREN Verse 32 "But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found." This is the party that affirms life, the dancing that celebrates.

Most of us long to be affirmed by our Father. We want them to throw parties in our honor. Here you have a Father who affirms his son when there isn’t much to affirm him for. He affirms his boy for coming home, and latter he affirms his eldest son for staying home. It is easy to focus on the improvement our kids need to make and to not affirm them for what they already have done. In that process we do not celebrate, we do not see that there is anything to celebrate.

But the good Father finds that which can be celebrated even if it is only the courage of the son to leave the far country and come home.

There isn’t , "How could you. Do you have any idea of the pain you have brought into your Mother’s and my life? The sleepless nights, the worrisome days?" There is only, "—get the fated calf, and kill it and let us eat and celebrate; for this son of mine was de ad and is alive again; he was lost and is found."

Always if you look for it there is that worthy of celebrating, for always if you look for it in each child there is that which is life giving. A final observation. Good fathers have prodigals. Do you hear that? Good Father’s have prodigals. God himself, the good Father, the best of Fathers, the Father who sets us free, who calls us to responsible living, who welcomes us home, who unconditionally loves us, who sets limits on us, who celebrates life with us , that good Father produced a prodigal. So some of us have had and still have children in the far country. That doesn’t mean that we are bad Fathers. So when our children are in the far country, let us not beat ourselves over the back as to where we went wrong. Rather let us trust, watch and pray, waiting and believing that the day of killing the fatted calf will yet come for us.

On this day let’s hear it for Fathers, On this I pay tribute to my Father although he is dead. "Thanks Dad for everything, most of all for being a good Father." Amen