We are in the third week of our journey searching for a life of purpose and meaning, using Rick Warren’s popular book, The Purpose Driven Life as a catalyst for discussion. Last week we examined our purpose of bringing God pleasure through our worshiping Him—worship that includes all areas of our lives, everything we say and do offered as a living sacrifice of praise to God. It is our living out the greatest commandment to "love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul and strength." Today, we look at our second purpose and it is connected to the second half of Jesus’ response to the Pharisees’ question of what is the greatest commandment. First, Jesus says, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and strength." The second commandment, and our second purpose in life, Jesus says is much like the first. "Love your neighbor as yourself."

We were created to love and encourage each other. No "Lone Ranger" Christians in God’s purposeful design for His people. No one in isolation from others, no hermit believers—we were created to be in relationship with one another. In the very beginning of creation, everything that God created is called "good," with one exception. It is "not good," God says, for the man to be alone and woman is created. In the New Testament, Jesus does not conduct his ministry alone. He chooses disciples—twelve of them—to participate in the journey with him. And when he sends the disciples out to minister in the surrounding towns and villages, he sends them out two-by-two. He does not do that so that if one should collapse and die on the way, the other can carry on! He does not do that so that if one should grow weary and leave, the mission at least continues with the other one. Jesus sends them out two-by-two so that they would be an encouragement and support to one another. It is God’s design that His people would be in relationship with one another. And the image frequently used in the Bible to refer to this relationship is...family. We are "brothers and sisters" in faith, "children of God," sharing in the inheritance of faith.

When we think of "family," different images come to mind. Some of those images are pleasant and good, some not so pleasant. It is, at best, an imperfect image of God’s design and purpose for us. I was reminded of that imperfection when I saw this week’s episode of the TV show, "Everybody Loves Raymond." Practically all of the episodes in the show take place either in the home of the main character, Ray Barone and his wife, Debra, or in the home of Ray’s parents, Frank and Marie, who live right across the street, which in itself is a formula for disaster! The humor is found in the family dynamics. In this particular episode, Ray’s brother, Robert, had managed to get for Ray a letter signed by one of Ray’s heroes, Muhammad Ali. Unfortunately, Debra unwittingly throws the letter out with the trash. When Ray discovers the letter missing, his mother appears to do a very noble thing, taking the blame for throwing the letter away rather than Debra. However, we soon learn that Marie has an ulterior motive in covering for Debra, expecting Debra to then cover for her when she gets rid of her husband’s old clothes. One deception leads to another, which leads to this exchange. (Show video) "Some call it controlling. I call it family." Like most families, the Barones get close to God’s purpose for families. They, like us, get lost along the way when motives are selfishly driven. But, they come close to getting it right.

In God’s design and in God’s purpose for us, He calls the church and His disciples to be in relationship with one another as family. And with that created purpose for us, comes the dynamics of family.

One dynamic within the household of God is we need each other. A frequent image used by Paul for the church family is that of a body. There are different parts to the body, each part has a particular purpose in the functioning of the body, and the body doesn’t function effectively if a part is missing. It’s a pretty basic image. The hand can’t say to the foot, "I don’t need you," and the foot can’t say to the hand, "I don’t need you." Each part has a particular purpose and if one is missing the body suffers. The body might still function, but less effectively than if all the parts are in place. We are called to take seriously our part in the family—with conscious and intentional effort—to take our role in this body of Christ known as Shepherd of the Hills. In the family we need each other.

Another dynamic is that family members care for one another. When needed, we rise to the occasion and offer care for a member of the family—not for what we might get out of it, but because that’s what family members do. We care for one another without expecting something in return. Marie Barone seems to get that, at first. Her covering for Debra appears to be the kind of thing family members do. Things get messed up when selfish gain becomes part of the mix. That’s not God’s intent for the family. We are to care for one another, without thought of personal gain, because that is what family members do. God’s purpose for the family is that we would care for one another.

Then, to be a part of the family means to be open and vulnerable with each other. Family members can adequately care for each other only to the extent that we are open about what is going on in our lives. To hide behind a facade of everything being fine, when things really aren’t fine, deprives us of the opportunity to benefit from the wisdom of someone who has experienced what’s troubling us, or to simply benefit from the loving care of a family member walking alongside us during a difficult time. Family members can’t offer care during a difficult time if we won’t be open about the difficulty we’re experiencing. So, to fulfill God’s purpose for us as family, we must be open and honest with each other.

That is a huge value of small groups in the life of the church. Small groups, wherever you might experience it—in Bible studies, CE classes, fellowship groups, our Purpose Driven Life groups currently meeting—small groups create opportunities for greater closeness between family members. They create opportunities to share more intimately what is really going on in our lives, and with that, opportunities to extend genuine care for one another.

The problem, of course, is that openness and honesty leaves us vulnerable. To admit to a weakness or a difficulty being experienced leaves us vulnerable to judgment, or ridicule, or worse from others. Which is why family members must also be gracious toward one another. None of us is perfect, yet we often are harder on others than we are on ourselves. We hold others to a higher standard than we hold ourselves—demanding mercy and grace from others, but withholding it from them when they need it. That is why Jesus speaks of "loving our neighbors as ourselves." To experience the full benefit God desires for us in the family of believers, we must be gracious to one another.

God wants us to experience the benefit of family, of being in relationship with others. To live out God's purpose for our lives, we ought to think of the church—of Shepherd of the Hills—in terms of family. As a place where we need each other, each of us using our gifts for the benefit of the family. Seeking to restore someone who is missing, because the body can't function effectively when some parts are missing. Shepherd of the Hills as a family that deeply cares for one another. A family in which we can be open and vulnerable with each other because there is grace within the family. If we begin to think of the church more as "family" and not simply as fellow members of a "church," we draw closer to God's purpose of fellowship in relationships for our lives.

But, let's not stop there. Let's also think of those who aren't a part of the family, yet God desires they become members of the family. People who are now, in Paul's terminology from our passage today, "foreigners and aliens" to the family, but who can become "members of God's household" through our efforts to reach out to them. In some ways—in keeping with the family imagery—I think of them as future in-laws. As families grow through the addition of new family members in marriage, so the "household of God" grows with the addition of new family members. And, in keeping with the analogy, one does not sit at home hunkered down with immediate family and hope that a potential new family member happens to knock on the door for a visit! Rather, one is out there living life among non-family members with the possibility of meeting someone who just might become a member of the family. So too are we called to look for new members of the household of God in the avenues of our everyday lives. And as we do that, we are aware of these truths. One, no one is excluded. God's invitation is for everyone to become a part of His family. No one, regardless of their status in life, is excluded from becoming a part of the family of Christ. And secondly, our search to meet our future in-laws, new members of the family, takes us where they are. Just as we love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, and strength by making a conscious, intentional effort to include God, and acknowledge God in everything we say and do in life, so also do we love our neighbors as ourselves and extend an invitation to join this family by making a conscious, intentional effort to seek out our in-laws in all the areas of our lives—in our neighborhoods, our work places, our schools, our places of recreation. God's purpose for everyone you meet in life is that they would be a part of His family as well. In fact, an essential part of their lives is missing—an emptiness is there—for those living outside the household of God. It could well be your invitation to become a part of the family that brings fulfillment and satisfaction to them and God's purpose of fellowship for their lives. So, meet the in-laws. But, to do that, you must go out to where they are and go knowing that no one is excluded. Everyone you meet is a potential member of the family.

One final thought about this household of God. As I shared and discussed the video of the Barone family with our worship planning team, someone said that one thing they learned from it is that an imperfect family is better than the alternative. Even in our imperfections as the family of God, better than taking your needs out on the streets to people who don't know you. Better than living with the loneliness—which is our society's number one fear, by the way—better than the loneliness that haunts those who have no family. Here, even in our imperfections, we find purpose in life through being a part of God's family.

A place where we need each other. A place where we care for one another. A place where we can be open and vulnerable with each other because grace is extended toward one another. A place from which no one is excluded. Some might call it impossible. Some might call it imperfect. Some might call it just a church. But, God calls it family.