Today we conclude our series on mentoring. Throughout the series we have sought to identify who are the Pauls, the Barnabasas, the Timothys of our lives. We’ve considered who might be Titus Women in our lives and who might be a Naomi, or a Ruth for us. The question interwoven throughout the entire series is this, what are we doing to make an impact for Jesus Christ on the next generation? I hope we don’t too quickly leave that question behind as we finish this series. In fact, I hope we never leave that question behind. It needs to be asked on a continual basis. What are we doing to make an impact for Jesus Christ on the next generation?

On this Father’s Day, it seems appropriate to consider the role of Titus Men and their contributions to mentoring and to fathers. Our Scripture passage comes from the 2^nd chapter of Titus, verses 1 and 2, and verses 6-8. (Read passage)

We’ve had a running joke in the office for the past month or so as we’ve thought about celebrating Father’s Day today. The joke has been running along the track of how differently we celebrate Father’s Day from Mother’s Day. First, in the church, on Mother’s Day we typically hand out roses to moms, make some mention of moms in the service. A legendary story surfaced every Mother’s Day in one church I served. A previous associate pastor opened one Mother’s Day worship by asking for moms of various qualifications to stand and be recognized. It was ok as they worked through which mom present had the most children. It got a bit awkward when he sought out the youngest mom to recognize and the unmarried, high school daughter of one of the members hesitatingly and somewhat embarrassingly stood up with her infant in her arms. The last straw was when he went searching for the oldest mom in the congregation and an elderly, frail woman finally stood up, glared at the pastor and said, "Don’t ever make me do this again!" That church never did that again. And neither have I in any church I’ve served since hearing that story.

But, we do celebrate Mother’s Day differently than we celebrate Father’s Day and the office joke has been about my whining about it. On Mother’s Day we give roses and recognition. On Father’s Day, nothing. On Mother’s Day the restaurants experience their highest volume for the year. On Father’s Day the aroma of backyard BBQ grills fill the air…with the celebrated fathers standing with BBQ tools in hand. We not only don’t get our meals served us in a restaurant, we have to cook it! Leading up to Mother’s Day, commercials advertise diamonds and gold jewelry. Leading up to Father’s Day, commercials poke fun at traditional Father’s Day gifts and suggest you get dad something more useful…like a grill!

Bill Cosby, in his best-selling book, Fatherhood, writes of this difference in celebrations. "Mother’s Day is a much bigger deal because mothers are more organized. Mothers say to their children, ‘Now here is a list of what I want. Go get the money from your father and you surprise me on Mother’s Day.’ For Father’s Day, I give each of my five kids $20 so that they can go out and buy me a present—a total of $100. They go to the store and buy two packages of underwear, each of which costs $5 and contains three shorts. They tear them open and each kid wraps up one pair, the sixth going to the Salvation Army. Therefore, on Father’s Day, I am walking around with new underwear and my kids are walking around with $90 worth of my change in their pockets."

The differences are obvious, aren’t they? So, the running joke in the office the last few weeks about my whining…which led to today’s celebration. We got bookmarks! I’m proud to say while we didn’t have a series of dads of different types stand this morning, we did get a gift. I am proud of my bookmark and will use it in every book I read!

On a more serious note. I think it is time to be rid of a social myth that began some time in the 60’s and continues to try to exist today. That myth is that fathers don’t really matter. In part, that myth surfaced in addressing some realities in our culture. As the reality of divorce continued to climb in our society and the vast majority of custody rights went to the mother, sociologists tried to tell us that the children would be ok because fathers didn’t really matter. And frankly, as men shirked their responsibilities as the father of a child—whether in or out of wedlock—running away from their duty and commitment as a father, sociologists tried to tell us that it would be ok because fathers didn’t matter. It was false bravado in an attempt to deal with the very real issues of single parent homes—of which 90% are single moms—and of men fathering children and running away. Those are very real and difficult issues. But the suggested reality that fathers didn’t really matter has proven to be false. Study after study has pointed to what we are discovering about the consequences of absent fathers. And those studies prove the sociologists wrong. Fathers do matter. A 1999 study from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services discovered that teenage girls without a father in their lives are two-and-a-half times as likely to get pregnant and 53% more likely to commit suicide. Boys without a father in their lives are 63% more likely to run away and 37% more likely to abuse drugs. Both boys and girls without father involvement are twice as likely to drop out of high school, twice as likely to end up in jail, and nearly four times as likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems. The statistics are disturbing and without question dispel the false bravado of the sociologists who said fathers didn’t matter.

So then, what do we do about the realities of our culture? In the reality of those statistics, what do we do about men, boys even, who run away from their responsibilities as a father? What do we do about the continually rising number of children being raised by only their mother? In a word—mentor. Be a Titus Man.

First of all, wherever possible, with every opportunity given you teach men and boys the importance of being a responsible father. Pound into our social consciousness that it is wrong for men to run from their duty and commitment as a father. That’s what attracted me about the words of Jesse Jackson that are on our bulletin cover this morning. Speaking at a rally for men, Jackson said, "Renew your hope; love your family. Raise your children, don’t abandon them. Cats raise kittens. Dogs raise puppies. Eagles raise their eaglets. Surely man can raise his babies. You have not earned the right not to raise your children! You have not earned the right to do less than your best! Though your knees may buckle sometimes, you never earn the right to surrender!" Jackson probably got an "Amen" for that, could I get an "Amen" to that? Let’s do all we can to encourage men to never surrender their role as father—encourage, affirm, teach, and when necessary rebuke our men and, indeed, our society regarding the important role of fathers. Do not give a wink to the problem, do not ignore, do not be indifferent to the problem of fathers—of any age—running away from their responsibilities! Pound into our social consciousness the importance—the necessity of fathers being fathers. Throw out the myth that fathers don’t matter.

Washington Post columnist, William Rasberry, wrote in a column on fathers, "Is it possible to reconnect fathers to their children? To reverse societal trends that produced the separation in the first place? To fashion government policies and reshape attitudes regarding fathers themselves? Probably. But not until we reconvince ourselves of what used to be common sense. Children need their fathers."

So, first there is that—be a mentor, a teacher, an outspoken advocate for men fulfilling their roles as fathers. Silly as it may sound, we need to "reconvince" our society that children need their fathers.

Then—and I’m speaking to the men now—in the realities of our society—in the reality of the divorce rate, in the reality of the increasing number of single parent homes, 90% of which are single parent moms, in the reality of those statistics—wherever there is an absent father look for opportunities to stand in his place.

Several magazines and journals have published a list of "practical ways for men to impact fatherless kids." Some of the offerings on the list:

1. Meet one-on-one weekly with a boy in your church or neighborhood who doesn’t have a father in the home.

Men, a woman in that circumstance isn’t going to come and ask you to do that. You have to look for such needs and respectfully approach and ask if you might be so privileged as to do that.

2. Become a leader in Pioneer Boys.

We have Pioneer Boys in our church. Call Scott Lucas and ask how you might help.

3. Teach Sunday School.

We have Sunday School. I wonder how many men teach in our Sunday School. Maybe more than I would think, but it is certainly a great need and a great opportunity to mentor both boys and girls.

4. Become active youth leaders in your local church.

We have a youth program. Our leader is female. It would be great if some men would help with that program to be a model for the young men in our youth program.

5. Volunteer as a tutor with a school in your area.

The principal may faint when you ask, but once he or she gets up off the floor they won’t be able to sign you up fast enough.

And so on. Look for opportunities to stand in the place of a father absent from the home. And the challenge for our church—for both men and women, for both men’s ministries and women’s ministries—is to provide mentoring opportunities you can participate in. We have a start. We have Sunday School. We have a youth program. We have Pioneer Boys…and Pioneer Girls. More and more opportunities are coming in which we all can be Titus Men…and Titus Women. It is so important because we all need encouragement from a Barnabas type walking alongside us, and from a Paul type who is modeling for us, mentoring us in a particular role in life. All of us need that, but on this Father’s Day we are particularly reminded that boys—especially boys with absent fathers—need role models.

Most of you know our oldest daughter, Megan, got married last November. Before her husband, Sam, was going to propose he wanted to meet with me. "Getting our permission" to some degree, although I suspect they would’ve married without it! But also, to talk about marriage, and Megan, and related subjects. We didn’t know each other very well—they met in college at Waco and we weren’t around each other much. So, Sam and I met for breakfast in July at a family reunion. And I’ll tell you what my biggest concern was. First, what it was not. I was not concerned that Sam is African-American. That’s a non-issue for Kim and me, although we know they’ll face some idiocies from ignorant people along the way and our hearts will ache at that. Also, my biggest concern was not how he was going to "provide for my daughter." That’s a bit of an archaic question and, besides, Megan is very competent in her career. I do have a small concern in that area because Sam’s major is theater performance and that’s a tough industry to make a living at. He’s very talented and maybe can make it as a musician and an actor, but that’s a tough industry to break into and be successful. So, we briefly talked about those topics that morning over breakfast, but none of them were my biggest concern. My biggest concern is that Sam grew up pretty much without a father. His dad was in the navy when Sam was born and they decided to not move the family around like navy life does. Rather, Sam and his mother lived in Corpus Christi while Sam’s father finished his stint in the navy, moving by himself wherever he was assigned. Well, it didn’t work. Eventually, they divorced and Sam stayed with his mom. So, that’s my biggest concern. My question of biggest concern to Sam that morning was, who was a model for you on what makes a husband and a father? Fortunately, he had an immediate answer. His grandfather. His mother’s mom and dad were in the area so Sam spent a significant amount of time with them. His model, his mentor, if you will, was his grandfather. And I feel better about that concern.

So, on this Father’s Day, let’s "reconvince ourselves" that children need their fathers. Apparent though that may be, we need to do that in our society. But, more than that, we also need to commit to being a vital part of the solution—standing in the gap, mentoring and affirming fathers and men wherever we can. I’m encouraged because we are making progress in this area. Paternity leave for men is now available in many workplaces—although only 7% of men take advantage of such leave as opposed to 90% of women—but it’s available and that’s progress. More and more sociologists are admitting they were wrong, becoming outspoken advocates for fathers…and that’s progress. And hey, we celebrated fathers today with bookmarks…and that’s progress! I was also amazed to discover that restaurants will be busy this morning. Our family was planning to go out for brunch, but we waited too long. Every place we could think of was no longer taking reservations! They were full! So, we’re going to take our chances and just go somewhere and get breakfast. Of course…we still have a backyard BBQ planned for later today…but we’re making progress! Now, if I could only figure out some way to get those BBQ tools in Kim’s hands! Let us pray!