The author of Ecclesiastes, one of the wisdom books in the Bible, tells us there is a rhythm to life. You know the words: A time to be born, and a time to die. A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to keep and a time to throw away; a time to speak and a time to keep silence; a time to break down, and a time to build up.

Everything has its time. God has fashioned our hearts in this way, but often we find ourselves crashing through life without much notice of the rhythm of our lives. For everything, says the author, there is a season; a time for everything to occur under heaven.

Summer is the season for getting married, and for me, this August has been full of weddings; two for which I am officiating and two where I am coming as a guest. Weddings are times of planning, celebration and building. So weddings have been on my mind.

A wedding, however, is not a marriage. When a couple requests that I perform their ceremony, we first set appointments for pre marital counseling. This requirement of our church, is meant to be a building block for the couple; an investment in their future. Such things as communication, money management, values and goals, are part of our discussions. The purpose is not to see if the couple should get married or not, but to initiate discussions designed to keep them married.

It seems to me that a marriage signals a building project of significant proportions. I am convinced it is not something the couple can do alone; nor can either side of the family keep it together. The current percentages against marriage surviving, weigh in at over 50%; not the most optimistic picture, to be sure.

The scenario can run something like this: two families come together, who, except for their children planning to marry, would never have met. They share little or nothing in common. They find themselves with different education, different economic status, different life experiences and different values. Often one comes without any faith background, complicating the picture.

Here stands a building project ready to face a demolition squad, or ready to begin building against the odds. Barriers are raised. The bride’s family insists on the wedding going their way; the groom’s family expects the couple to adopt their faith background; the bride’s family wants the couple to reside near them; and so it goes. Each has their own expectations for the couple. The building of a relationship faces some pretty tough opposition.

As I thought about the Scripture today, I have been thinking a lot about building, which for me involves resistance and doing what it is right, even in the face of opposition. Of course, none of this is easy, and successful building is not done alone.

When I was newly married, my husband and I found ourselves in Alaska. We were in the stage of figuring out what it meant to be married; what would we carry with us from our families and what would we build on our own. Living next door to us in our apartment building, was a young couple, Izzy and Jessie, doing the same. We had moved from Minnesota, they had come from New York City and both of us were a long way from home.

We were drawn to their gentle and kind ways and soon were sharing dinners together. We talked of our weddings and learned how difficult theirs had been. One was Puerto Rican and the other was Italian and neither family could accept the other. Neither attended the wedding of their children. They were no longer welcome in their own families. I struggled with this story. It seemed to me that this beautiful couple, just starting out in life, like we were, had received a dreadful wedding present. How would they be able to build their family alone? I remember hearing the song, "There’s a Place For Us", from West Side Story, wafting through their windows. It now had new meaning for me.

Building is an important concept for us to think about. When do we tear down? And when do we build up? Here in Colorado, the visible kind of building is going on constantly; the old is torn down and the new emerges that changes the landscape of what was. There is the relentless building of the mega houses without a buyer, or the much needed low income housing springing up around town, or the new corporate additions changing our sky line. But I am talking about the more important building of our lives; that internal building that saves and protects us. The kind of building that allows us to do what is right, despite the opposition.

That’s what Nehemiah did. Here he was a person of faith, who discovered that his beloved country of heritage was in ruins. The walls around Jerusalem had fallen and the gates had been burned to the ground. Originally walls were built around Jerusalem as a means of preserving their Jewish culture, religious practice and safety. Cities without walls in those days were vulnerable to enemies of marauding tribes. The walls also protected the temple, central to their community, for they knew that without a visible place of assembly and practice, their religion would die. One commentary states that historical excavations have shown the original wall to have been 100 feet tall.

Along the walls were various gates for specific Jewish practice: a sheep gate through which sacrifices were brought; the fish gate with proximity to the market; the dung gate through which garbage was disposed; the fountain gate, with access to water, and many others representing the life and worship of our Jewish ancestors then. This was the holy center of Nehemiah’s faith. Someone needed to do something, and that someone was Nehemiah.

But Nehemiah was living in another country, holding a prestigious position with the king of that country. So the first thing he does is to pray to God for wisdom; then armed with courage and direction, Nehemiah petitions the king not only for time away, but for letters, which served like our passports. They allowed him to pass through the kingships of other lands with security, protection, and materials for restoration. Nehemiah was certain of his mission: he must go to Jerusalem to build up this holy place. His faith and Judaism itself were at stake.

He travels with the necessary protection, complete with army officers and a cavalry. Once there, he gathers the leaders together and unites them in his building effort, for Nehemiah is described in the historical account as a Jew of position, honor and influence. He was known as noble, generous, decisive and patriotic. He has been given the gifts of leadership and wisdom equal to the task, and so the building begins.

However, things do not run smoothly. The opposition gathers; anger turns to revenge and threatened by what is right, Nehemiah’s enemies taunt, then ridicule, and eventually threaten to kill Nehemiah if he does not stop this building project. His enemies are trying to tear down, while he is trying to build up. The familiar group dynamic is at play: The success of some is threatening to others, and often the solution is to eliminate the person standing for what is right, rather than work together for resolution. Nehemiah knew he was right because he became inspired with the idea, prayed to God about it and doors were opened for him.

There are times in our lives when something happens that takes us in a different direction than we were headed; times that in the end, shape us into the people we are to become. These may be times of tearing down or building up. It could be a second marriage, the birth of a child, divorce, a new vocation, or retirement. But it doesn’t have to only be major events in our lives. Sometimes, like Nehemiah, we can hear news in a conversation that forces us into action. These are the times in which we know that we are the one who needs to take a stand, regardless of the consequences.

It happened to me when I was employed by a presbytery, as an Associate Executive working 3/4 time. Initially, I was the only woman on the executive staff, and it had been explained to me that only full time employees received benefits. One day the Executive came into our staff meeting with a proposal to hire 2 part time males at ¼ time with full benefits. I raised the question of how could this be? His response: These are males and they have to support their families; you are married and have benefits with your husband."

At first I thought I had heard wrong. But I had not. The staff entered formal mediation. The stated clerk, by then a woman, resigned; the Secretary, a single mother, dared not speak. The women employed by the Conference center we owned, were afraid of losing their jobs. The monetary cost to the presbytery would be significant; and I had just started seminary. We all had a lot to lose. The lines were drawn. The hurdles of opposition were in place. It became clear that I was the only one who could speak out, even if it cost me my job or my ordination. The stakes were frighteningly high.

After two years of negotiation, the national mediator quit. The presbytery decided the only answer was to initiate benefits and end all of our positions, including the Executive. That was 16 years ago. Was it hard? No question! Was it worth it? There is no doubt in my mind. One can save their job, and lose their integrity. One can chose not to do what is right and live with it forever. All of us experience times in our lives when we know we are to stand for what is right. Sometimes we say no and sometimes we say yes, but when God is with us, like Nehemiah, we are more able to set aside the threats or consequences. We are more able to focus on the end results instead of the immediate situation. We are more equipped not to be derailed by fear, in doing what we know to be right.

Like Nehemiah, prayer becomes our weapon, if we pray for insight, wisdom and direction. Only then can we set aside wanting it resolved our way, and let God take care of the details. Now what I am talking about here is faith. We don’t just come with faith, or catch it from someone. Faith is about building. You and I can hear faith stories from our friends or strangers and it can be pretty easy to dismiss. But once we decide to take a step to build our own faith it suddenly becomes real. Then we know what others are talking about. Faith becomes real when we practice it; it becomes ours and not someone else’s.

Ecclesiastes reminds us, there is an intentional rhythm in our lives. It is present in our family of faith too, right here at Shepherd of the Hills; there is a time to tear down, and a time to build up. Sometimes when the way we have always done things is working fine a new member can bring in a fresh idea. Our first response is to hold onto the old; why fix something that isn’t broken? we say. But maybe it doesn’t have to be broken to have yet even a better way. Maybe God brings us new ideas, new worship, new Sunday schedule for the express purpose of building an even stronger family of faith.

Like Nehemiah and his faith, these are times for our church too, when we need to be in prayer. These are times for us to be praying about the direction of our church; the programs that are needed here; the worship that we share; the building that needs repair. These are opportunities to receive direction from God. Is it a waste of our time to pray about these things? I don’t think so. It doesn’t have to be a crisis before we can come to God. Our everyday life needs to be a conversation with God. Without continual prayer I think we run the risk of being vulnerable to others running our lives instead of God. Nehemiah didn’t pray to a controlling God, but the One who offered direction when Nehemiah asked for it. It is one of the many ways God loves us.

Why do we insist on making life so difficult? Why do we act as though we know better than God, when we don’t? Nehemiah sets the example for us. He goes to God in prayer first. Then he is not intimidated by his enemies. He is certain of what is right. He faces his opposition secure in what to do,e faces hHh trusting God with the details. He is not afraid that God won’t come through.

Isn’t this is a better way for all of us? Amen