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What to Expect on Sunday |
Gentleness is not an attribute valued by our world. It is considered weak, passive, either unwilling, or unable, to stand up for ourselves. We belong to a world of war, violence and aggression, seen as a necessary evil, faced as soon as we walk out our doors, or sometimes found in our homes. We have been frightened by terrorists worldwide as well as right here on the streets of Denver. Violent news stories fill our minds, and creep unnoticed into our hearts. They are much of the entertainment we choose. The self help section of our bookstores are filled with ways to take charge of our lives, stand up for what we believe and to fight back when hurt. Little respect is afforded to those who allow others to run over them. For eight weeks now we have taken a look at eight of the nine fruits. Say them with me: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and now gentleness. So how are we to think about these fruits of the Spirit which, for the most part, are dismissed by many as weak and passive? I think these fruits of the Spirit are anything but passive. Haven’t you found yourself lacking in some of these? I know I have. It is difficult to be kind to someone who is rude. It is hard to be patient with someone honking their horn at us. When our kids whine, irritation is easier than gentleness. I think these fruits are ways God equips us to be in the world but not of it. I have found it helpful to keep them in front of me during the week. I have a list before me in my office, another facing me on my computer at home, and repeat them from memory each day. In this way they are on my mind as the day progresses and there are lots of opportunities to access them! They help to prevent a knee-jerk reaction, when the situation arises. Recently I attended a presbytery function to welcome new clergy. We were asked to bring a form of wisdom to share with the group. It could be a poem, a mother’s saying, or an experience. It could be a song whatever we considered wisdom. I brought the fruits of the Spirit. They are pieces of wisdom for ministry, for family, for us. Simply deciding to practice this list is not easy. They are not ours on demand, and as you may have noticed, they are anything but weak or passive. It takes considerable strength when a family member is mean, or when someone at work blows us off, to be kind, gentle and patient in return. Choosing the fruit-filled way is not always our first response! Yet, if we choose, all of us have opportunities every day, to take one of these fruits and for just a moment, try it on for size. We don’t have to be patient all day. We don’t have to be perfectly peaceful every moment, or filled with joy whatever the occasion. God doesn’t expect that; it isn’t possible anyway, and such a goal only makes us feel defeated. None of us will be filled with goodness everyday. None of us is able to be loving all the time. Most of us slip into saying or doing unkind things that we regret later. But if we know and review the list each day, we are more likely to choose a better way when the opportunity arises. Yes, to be in the world but not of it, is a difficult thing to do. It is nearly impossible to hear the gentle voice of Jesus when we immerse ourselves in a harsh world. It is then that we chose the ways of the world instead of Christ’s. Recently, on a Saturday night, I had decided to squeeze in what I thought would be a few quick errands before an already late dinner. Now, I know that doesn’t sound like a night on the town, but for pastors, Saturday night rarely is. It was a night that unfolded like a bad novel. You know, those times when one thing goes wrong that seems to set off a chain reaction for others? I thought I’ll just get the car washed, some gas and a few groceries and be back in 20 minutes, max. It turned into an hour and 20 minutes! I entered the car wash and it did not activate. I backed up, drove forward, and still it did not run. Finally I went in for help. The attendant came out to direct me getting my tire wedged in between the two bars and I could not move either way. After some more back and forth jimmying and vowing to myself, I would never come here again, I was finally released and headed off to fill up my car with gas. Here I swiped my cards as always, but the gas price would not activate. I went to the window. The woman said she didn’t know how to command the computer to activate the pump price while it filled. I waited, she took other customers. Flustered she finally said, "Just take the gas." I said, "No you have to take my credit card or you will be in trouble for giving away gas." I continued to wait while others came to the window with their receipts incorrect. When it was finally resolved with help from the office, I should have gone home, but not knowing when to quit, I entered the grocery store to pick up a few items. When I got in line and began emptying my cart on the counter, the cashier suddenly said to the man who had just entered the line behind me, "Sir, you can come up." At which point he pushed his cart ahead of mine and was checked out! Finally, heading home, I had to push my cart between two cars to get to mine. As I drew up to the door of the first car, the door flung open blocking the access to my car. The woman poked her head out and said "I need to get some air." And there I was trapped behind her door and the other car. With paranoia seeping into my consciousness, I was convinced I had that football cheer stuck to my back: Hit him again, hit him again harder, harder! Then, the next morning as I settle in for the sermon, it just happens to be about kindness, complete with suggestions of how to buy a stranger a latte, or paying for another’s dinner anonymously. I must confess those were not my exact thoughts the night before! In fact they never entered my mind! I was focused on being thankful that I had negotiated the two miles back home without a car accident! Some days are just like that and when the world is not gentle to us, we need to be gentle with ourselves. I don’t know about you, but each week in this series, it seems like God is messing with me; getting my attention, asking me to look out for the other person, to rise above my own needs, or schedule. I get the message, in fact I very much want to follow the message, but then a setback like that Saturday night threatens to derail me. Along the way, it has occurred to me that maybe I am unable to master these fruits on my own. Maybe, just maybe, I am being invited to lean on God for a little help. One of the real benefits of coming to worship each week is being sensitized to move beyond our knee jerk response. It is a time when we are made aware of the options Jesus puts before us. We go through weeks that feel more like survival instead of caring for others. We may notice these gifts in another person or be the recipient of a fruit like patience or kindness ourselves, when we didn’t deserve it. We may even have dabbled in practicing some new behaviors that give us hope that we can be successful. And when we pass it on, just for a moment, the world is a better place. Gentleness is what allows us to approach God. Calvin Miller writes, "If anyone could demand respect and strike fear in everyone he meets, it is God. Yet God never acts this way; we do!" To withhold our first response of explaining or getting even, and choose one of the fruits instead, is a sort of holding back for the other person. In the book The Shack, the author, William Young, depicts the Trinity as unique figures inviting the reader to break out of their preconceived notions of who God is. Like the Profession of Faith today, we too, ask what is God? Sarayu, representing the Holy Spirit, at one point, is explaining how the Trinity is all about relationship, where one does not trump the other. "You don’t play a game with a child to show your superiority. Rather you choose to limit yourself to honor that relationship. It is not about winning and losing, but about love and respect. Relationships are never about power; the one way to avoid the will to power, is to choose to limit oneself to serve." This what the fruits of the Spirit can do. I have been intrigued with how simple the fruit of the Spirit words are, yet how difficult the action. We have been invited by Christ over these past weeks to pull back from revenge; to give another person the benefit of the doubt, to let someone get in front of you on the freeway intentionally, and let go of evening up the score. There is no doubt about it: one has to have considerable strength to be gentle, to put another person first. When we do, we might just be turning a bad day around for someone. A kind word, a patient act or a gentle conversation can be a powerful gift. The fruits of the Spirit like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness), are all ways of being gentle, aren’t they? They are the practice of focusing on the other person. They are signs of strength. They are, in fact, the characteristics of God. In two weeks we will be celebrating Palm Sunday, the beginning of the last week of Jesus’ life. God made known the meaning of gentleness through Jesus. Jesus turned his world and ours upside down, by doing and saying the unexpected. Although he had all power open to him, he chose that week to enter Jerusalem, not on a tall white horse, but on a donkey. He chose a gentle entrance, and we remember it. Aggression and violence create fear, but gentleness makes us approachable. Jesus did not conquer people. Rather he focused on conquering death, so that you and I might have eternal life. He chose gentleness so that we might approach him and believe. Gentleness gets our attention because it is rare. Remember Mary when she is told she will bear the Son of God? Does she refuse? Does she run knowing she could be stoned for being pregnant before marriage? No. Yet in her gentle strength she responds, "Here I am the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word." How can this be? Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "We do not believe, or we forget, that the Holy Ghost came down, not in the shape of a vulture, but in the form of a dove." The Holy Spirit is not just in Mary, or in Jesus, or in the dove. The Holy Spirit resides in each one of us giving us the strength to be gentle, with the ones who need it most. Amen |
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